Pill Peer Pressure

I wrote this a long, long time ago. early 2000’s it must have been. Its was in a George Carlin style rant. You know how he gets. Anyway, because of dropping f-bombs for no reason, or all the reasons, read at your own risk. If you don’t consider crudeness a problem – carry on.

They tell you in school not to give into peer pressure, to just say no to drugs. They never
tell you that when you “grow up” the peer pressure to do drugs comes from the drug companies.
Example? Here’s one. You go to the doc to find out why your tummy hurts. He says, “You have
acid reflux. Take these pills for a few months and you’ll be ok.” He gives you a prescription for the drugs and he also gives you a tablet right there. Drug dealers do the same. The first hit is free – then you gotta pay for the rest.
It used to be that when you got your period, your fuck of a husband, boyfriend, fuck buddy,
sex slave had to deal with your ranting, raving, raging and like it bitch! Smile when you call me
queen, you little shit! It used to be that if you couldn’t get your dick hard you were a FUCKING
LOSER! All of a sudden people not on meds are the minority. It used to be people on meds, for
whatever reason, didn’t talk about it or make a deal about it. Now everybody’s advertising!


Speaking of commercials. It used to be that you got a scrip from your doctor. You know, the kid that spent a small fortune and the best years of their lives, slaving away in the ER’s and OR’s so that they could learn how to heal. Enter Satan. These pharmaceutical assholes spread their advertising feces all over the TV, radio, magazines, billboards, road signs, sponsorship and now in e-mail flavor! Mmmm spammy goodness. They make you think that if you don’t have a 16 hour hard on or happy beyond the bounds of sanity, there’s something wrong with you. What?


When did this shit happen?


They make pills for every kind of ailment, deformity, and character flaw. Limp dick? Don’t waste your time cultivating a loving relationship. There’s a pill for that! Small breasts? You don’t need to be comfortable in your own body. There’s a pill for that! Chronic fatigue? No worries. You can still drink six gallons of coffee and smoke a fucking bale of tobacco because, there’s a pill for that too! There’s a pill for fucking, not fucking, fucking too much, fucking all the time, fucking fat, fucking thin, running off at the fucking mouth, fucking up, thinking of fucking kids, not fucking enough kids, brain fucking, mind fucking, mother fucking, enough fucking! They got shit for bi-polar, tri-polar, north polar, bad skin, good skin, no skin grown skin, in a box, with a fox, with or without your sox and if you feel like your missing out they got shit to keep you awake until next year. Need sleep? Got Milk? No hair? Where hair? There hair! Here a pill there a pill everywhere a pill pill! Old McPfizer had a farm – oh shut the fuck up.


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